A Warrior’s Heart

I heard from the Holy Spirit on Tuesday. I have a running list of His messages to me, and this morning I reflected on them.  Sometimes it’s a word or phrase, other times it’s a clear picture in my mind.  So I will take you on my journey so far, and highlight some words along the way. My testimony has been woven by and through these interactions. It all points back to God, and I give Him all the glory.

IMG_1134In 1989 I had my first message from Him, right before I started college.  While driving down a country road in Alabama, I was hit with a revelation. I knew I was supposed to be a Warrior. For me, that took the form of becoming an Army ROTC Cadet. That’s the type of warrior I was familiar with, as the daughter of an Army officer.

If you know my story, you know it didn’t end the way I thought it would.  In my junior year of college, I developed an injury that sidelined me. I prayed for healing, but didn’t receive it. I thought that either God had forgotten His promise to me, or that I simply had failed Him. I graduated from college with a degree in one hand and a crisis of faith in the other.

I moved to Florida and found the job I would keep for almost 22 years. My leadership gift served me well in corporate America. What I loved most was developing and mentoring others.

2014-2016 were hard years, and full of grief and loss. This time, I sought God with all my heart. I asked for signs, and started seeing Compasses and Wings.  Compasses reminded me to let Him set my direction, and Wings were a reminder that my refuge and protection were found in Him (Psalm 91:4).

God is the Way, the Truth, and Life itself.  He is the Light of the world. So when darkness fell and my path was unclear, He showed me the Way. When lies held me captive, He broke my chains and set me free. Life is His abundant promise, and His Light always defeats darkness.

Warrior means more to me now than it did in 1989. 

Recently I started seeing the word ‘ezer. It is a military term, used only 21 times in scripture. It refers to military leaders, to God Himself, and twice in Genesis is used to describe woman’s purpose at creation. She was created to be a warrior, a shield, and a protector.

That’s the benefit of hindsight. I can see what God sparked inside me so long ago, was just a reminder of who He created me to be.

So I keep marching forward. And now I am marching straight into seminary.  It’s a difficult path for women in the evangelical church. There are few women in pastoral positions, outside of women’s and children’s ministries. It’s easy to give up when faced with opposition.

I feel asleep feeling disheartened, knowing many women who want to serve in church leadership but aren’t afforded the opportunity. If there were just more women mentors out there, it would make a difference.

Wouldn’t you know,  I woke up hearing Be What You Need. I needed the reminder that I have a warrior’s heart. And I need to make sure other women know that they are warriors too.

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